To be sung to the tune of “I am the very model of a modern major-general” from The Pirates of Penzance, buy Gilbert and Sullivan.
He is the very model of a modern major pro-fess-or,
He’s information animal, barriers and spinal cord,
He knows the kings of CNS and can quote the fights historical,
From Stern and co to Liddelow in order categorical.
He’s very well acquainted with matters developmentally,
And understands conundrums that confound poor students hopelessly,
About cerebrospinal fluid he’s teeming with a lot o’ news,
With many cheerful facts about the bureaucrats he loves to abuse!
He’s very good at barriers and CNS border control,
I’m sure that Donald Trump wants Norman for his barrier patrol.
In short in matters animal, barriers and spinal cord,
He is the very model of a modern major pro-fess-or.
In fact when he knows exactly when the blood-brain barrier is developmentally made,
When he can tell at sight a scalpel from a razor blade,
When such events as taking me on sailing yachts I’m wary at,
And when he knows that ropes are sheets and ties a convincing lariat,
When he has learnt what progress has been made in modern seafaring,
When he knows more of tacking and of jibing when the wind is in,
In short when he’s a smattering of elemental strategy,
You’ll say a better pro-fess-or has never behaved more valiantly.
For scientific knowledge he is plucky and invigorating,
His breadth and depth of knowledge are nothing but intimidating,
But still in matters animal, barriers and spinal cord,
He is the very model of a modern major pro-fess-or.
With apologies to W.S. Gilbert and A.S. Sullivan.