It has been said that first impressions can often leave an indelible stain upon your psyche and my early interactions with Norman certainly support this observation! Allow me to recount, and please note that my recollections may be not completely accurate….
It was at my Club, during a science outreach session for dipsomaniacs, where Norman was the invited speaker. He delivered an erudite and scientifically comprehensive discourse of his neurophysiological adventures in the UK and the antipodes, and whilst I did not comprehend all the graphs and pie charts, at his conclusion I nevertheless felt intellectually enriched by his passion for science, or maybe I was just glad the canapés had arrived? Anyway, after the talk, Norman came over to chat to me, and in my excitement, I spilled my drink over his shoes. Looking up from his feet, Norman noticed that I had the latest copy of ‘An Epicureans’s Guide to Opossums’ in my pocket and as he looked at me, he tersely remarked “Did you know that the opossum spinal cord has astounding regenerative capabilities following blunt force trauma?” I thought that, on account of the spilled pint, he was going to give me some blunt force trauma, but he seemed to be in a forgiving mood. I said “No I didn’t – regionalerative … fascinating!” Next thing I knew, Norman slapped me over the head with a book he had just published, thrust it into my hand and remarked that it may prove more interesting than a compendium of marsupial recipes! He said they were too chewy anyway… I glanced at the lurid cover of Norman’s pamphlet and saw that whilst it may indeed prove interesting, I couldn’t help but wonder that if I stuffed it into his shoes, would it absorb the beer from his socks? The slim tome was as much an eye opener as it was an eye closer because after 12 or so pages in, I fell asleep and dreamt of endemic south American native animals. The physics of small molecule diffusion processes across selectively permeable membranes always does that to me! Some time later, I was woken by the cleaner. Norman had gone, I had a second bump on my forehead (apparently Norman was not as forgiving as I thought…) and I found a pair of damp socks in my pocket.
Norman and I renewed our relationship when he came to Melbourne to spread his brand of intellectual pedantry … or is that physiological pedagogy? He had an enthusiastic research group and had been awarded an enormous grant to study the effect of car crashes on spinal cord integrity and wound healing in some poor defenceless species. As an ancillary project, once the cords healed, he would then teach the critters to sail instead! (or something like that anyway…). I was going to help him administer this pot of gold! We met in the corridors of the Medical Faculty, and once again he must have been in a forgiving mood as I got the feeling that he was thinking that before him was an administrator he could work with – probably intellectually handicapped to be sure, but as long as the forms were filled in neatly he’d be satisfied. At the the very worst, he could teach me to sail as an honourary member of Sailability!
He had an interesting relationship with University administrators. He told me that back on the planet where he came from, they made him ‘mad as hell’ and ‘he wasn’t going to take them any more!’ I got that terse look again: “Did I understand?” I did once hear a rumour that the reason Norman was transported to Tasmania was because after a fracas with some HoD about an incomplete travel diary reconciliation, there were a number of Central Services apparatchiks hospitalised with head and neck injuries! Needless to say, Norman and I got on like ‘a house on fire’ as long as I did what I was told and did not look too closely at the finer details of the spreadsheets. I also returned his socks – darned, cleaned & ironed!
These days, whilst our paths cross mainly when he perambulates Royal Parade, Norman leads a more relaxed and a more easy-rider lifestyle!
Despite my tenuous grasp of the facts and my tinted view of history, and even though he was not forthcoming with any good opossum recipes, along with my amphetamine intake, Norman has had a positive effect on my psyche (you can hardly notice the stain) and I appreciated his considered and experienced input when I needed advice (or is that instruction?) about navigating the vagaries of tertiary education management. Norman, I salute you, and I wish you all the best as you take time to reflect on a satisfying and productive professional history, and now enjoy a future bereft of superfluous administrative rigmarole!